I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
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