its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
Randomize
