i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
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