i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
Randomize
