This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Randomize
