I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
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