Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
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