If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
