It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
