Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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