I feel like abortions should bother me more
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
