His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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