4 words: hood of his car
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
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How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
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