Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
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