i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Randomize
