u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Randomize
