Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
Randomize
