I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
