youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize
