When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
Randomize
