Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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