I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
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