Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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