We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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