Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize
