he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
Randomize