Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
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