I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
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