I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
