Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
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