Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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