i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Randomize
