STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
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