If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
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