is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
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