i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
