he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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