I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
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