PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
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She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Randomize