I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize