I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
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