Sponge bath it is.
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
Fuck appropriateness.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
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