Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
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