i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
Randomize
