dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize
