I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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