there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Randomize
