Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
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