i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
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