these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
Randomize
