We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
