"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Randomize
