I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
my being single is dangerous.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Randomize