can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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