Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Randomize
