Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
Randomize
