well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
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