Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
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