bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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