Is it normal to miss your booty call?
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
