we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Randomize
