She went from zero to smokin in five shots
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
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