you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
I'm bleeding and have questions
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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