you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
Randomize
