is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
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