you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
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